


To Hold You Feels Like Victory

by amyfortuna



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Consensual Kink, Cunnilingus, Dominance, F/F, Female Characters, Femslash, Fire, Hair-pulling, Kissing, Kneeling, Light Dom/sub, Oral Sex, Submission, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 21:44:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3993937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyfortuna/pseuds/amyfortuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aerin and Morwen meet each other's needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Hold You Feels Like Victory

It began with a late morning visit one spring a little more than a year after the birth of Nienor, as Aerin quietly brought a few things that she knew Morwen needed. 

She set her bundle down on the table. This is the way it worked; she brought Morwen necessaries, Morwen didn't really acknowledge them but there was a look in her eyes that was desperately, almost pathetically, grateful, and that was somehow, strangely, enough for Aerin to keep doing it. 

That day the shadows felt like they were lingering in Morwen's house, and she sat on a chair, staring into space. When Aerin came in, she wiped a hand over her face, angrily brushing the tears away. 

"Aerin," she said carefully, but did not get up. Aerin set the bundle down, as always, and moved over to stand next to Morwen, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. Morwen took a deep breath that had something of a shuddering gasp in it, and turned to look up at Aerin, for once the taller of the two of them. 

"Are you well?" Aerin asked. She sensed something about Morwen, something a little different, and raised her hand to brush lightly against Morwen's cheek. 

Morwen outright gasped, then, and immediately blushed, drawing back. "I am well enough," she said quietly, "but I..." Her voice trailed off, and Aerin, for once, pressed. 

"What is it?"

Morwen looked down, away, her hands twisting in her lap. "I miss Húrin, of course. And yet," she glanced up again, almost shamefaced with it, and just said it, then, "I _need_ , my body needs," and then all in a rush, "I am so desperate with it I can hardly endure even the touch of a friend. I am all on fire, Aerin, and I cannot control it. I cannot think of anything else. But I also cannot _do_ anything about it - I would rather die than take one of those horrible men for a lover." She looked up again, anger in her eyes now, and fear. "What can I do when my body will not obey my will, when my thoughts will not quiet? I am in a mad whirl of desire, and it cannot be assuaged alone." 

Aerin looked down at her, quietly, and laid a hand once again on her shoulder. Morwen took a deep breath, and raised her eyes to Aerin's face once more. 

"I can try to help," Aerin said, her voice hesitant, feeling some warm emotion blossom inside of her at Morwen's strange vulnerability. She let her hand slide softly from Morwen's shoulder to cup her cheek carefully. Morwen looked at her carefully, breathing somewhat faster, so Aerin bent, and kissed her as she sat there. 

At first Morwen's lips were hard, unyielding; then all at once she gave way with a great sigh and her whole body went almost limp, as if the tension had been sucked out of it. Her mouth opened under Aerin's and Aerin took the kiss deeper, gently controlling it.

When the kiss broke, Morwen's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh. Oh," she breathed softly, looking at Aerin in wonder. 

"Come with me," Aerin said, and put out her hand. Morwen took it, rising from the chair, taller now than Aerin, but none the less obedient. 

Aerin led them to Morwen's dark bedroom, to the bed that she had once shared with Hurin. She carefully manoeuvred Morwen to sit down on it, then stood in front of her, taking both her hands in her own. 

"What do you need?" she asked, simply, straightforwardly. A blush stained Morwen's cheeks as she considered. 

"Húrin used to, oh, this is hard to say," Morwen said, glancing up swiftly at Aerin, who gazed back soberly, steadily. It was giving her more than warmth to be standing here over Morwen, listening to her blush and stammer. Liquid heat was beginning to spread throughout her body, and fantasies of Morwen on her knees, dark hair unbound and floating down her naked body, licked through her mind. 

"I liked it when he was rough with me, in bed," Morwen confessed at last. "He wouldn't do it always, but sometimes he...my hair - _ah_ \- he would pull my hair. It hurt but it felt so good." She glanced up again, and Aerin gave her a steady look, not smiling, but accepting. "And other things. Once he tied my hands to the bedpost."

"What did he do then?" Aerin said, almost in a whisper, fascinated. 

Morwen almost smiled, remembering. "He kissed me all over, left bites on me. I felt like I was floating. That was a happy day." She shifted position a little, and Aerin suddenly felt very delightedly wicked, watching her. 

"Take your hair down," she said suddenly, commanding, eager to try and see if she could make it hurt so good for Morwen too. 

Morwen glanced at her again, a new look on her face, open and willing to do anything at the sound of that command in Aerin's voice. She immediately began unbraiding her hair. 

Aerin glanced around, taking some practical issues into consideration. "Where is Nienor?" she said. 

"Asleep," Morwen said. "She woke half the night, so she'll sleep half the day. It's very wearying." 

Aerin nodded, then went to the door of the bedroom, closed and locked it, then to the window, and drew the curtains firmly across. The light in the room was dim now, spilling faintly around the edges of the curtains. 

Morwen's hair was falling about her, loose, long, and dark, when Aerin turned back. She caught her breath at the way it made Morwen look young and vulnerable, fair as the Elf-maiden she was named. She made her way back to Morwen, swiftly, and slid hands into her hair, grabbing two great handfuls at the back of her head and tugging. 

The sound Morwen made then was nothing short of obscene, a long drawn-out, pleasured groan. "Yes, please, yes," Morwen said, near begging it, and Aerin tugged again, harder this time, feeling herself grow slick and hot under her skirts. She tumbled Morwen back to the bed, yanking her hands out of Morwen's hair, and pushed her skirts up, pulling her undergarments down and off. 

Morwen lay back, eyes closed, breathing hard, and Aerin roughly shoved her hands above her head. "Cling to the bedpost," she said, and was astonished at the roughness in her own voice, the arousal in it. "Do not move." 

Morwen nodded, shakily, and tried to speak, but could not get breath out for a moment. "Yes," she whispered at last, her voice a thin, broken thing. "Yes, my lady." 

Aerin could not repress her own breathless groan at the sound of 'my lady' in Morwen's voice, but bent, muffling it against the hot swell of Morwen's mound, breathing against her, taking in the heat of her, the delicious aroused scent of her. Morwen groaned, shuffling her hips a little, thrusting them up against Aerin's mouth.

Aerin put out her tongue, letting it drag against the warm wetness of Morwen, delving between her lips, tasting her. She was slippery with arousal, and clear fluids shone on the coarse dark hairs of her sex. She tasted so good, faintly salty, and like nothing Aerin had ever tasted before save her own juices. 

She licked upward to her clit in a long steady stroke, and lapped at the hard bud she found, larger than her own, fully erect. Morwen made a sound like she was dying, harsh and ragged, as Aerin's tongue moved over her, licking and licking. More clear fluid gushed from between Morwen's lips, and Aerin lapped it up, that salty flavour quickly becoming addictive. 

Morwen was shaking. Glancing up, Aerin could see she was pressing her lips together hard, as if to stop from making noise. "Are you close?" she whispered, licking at Morwen inbetween words and Morwen nodded frantically, hands still obediently clutching the bedpost above her head. 

Aerin bent back down and licked with all her might, strong steady licks across the head of Morwen's clit. She brought a hand up, pressing into Morwen gently. Morwen was unable to repress a groan at that, surging against her. Aerin could feel her clenching around the two fingers inside her. 

All at once Morwen seemed to lose control, spasming, shaking, moaning, as Aerin gave her clit one last firm lick. She bucked wildly against Aerin's hand and mouth; Aerin kept on licking, dragging out the sensations. A spurt of fluid came from her and Aerin caught it in her mouth: more of that delicious salty taste, with an added sweetness to it. Morwen was gasping, groaning, beyond thought or reason. 

Aerin gentled her down, gradually decreasing the intensity of her licks until she pulled away, removing her hand from Morwen, who lay all wrecked, eyes closed, against the bed, skirts wantonly pulled up, hands limp against the bedpost now, but still above her head. Aerin collapsed down next to her, pulling her own skirts up, frantic with need, a hand on her own clit. She leaned in, kissing Morwen, sharing the taste of her, and when the kiss broke, Morwen sighed with contentment.

"Do you want me to?" she cast a glance down at Aerin's exposed sex, but Aerin shook her head. 

"You look so lovely all sated, I would not disturb you," Aerin whispered with a smile. "I did that to you," she added, and threw her own head back with a groan, coming against her own hand, already recalling the sight of Morwen in bliss. 

\-----

After the first time, the second time was easier. The next month Aerin returned, and it was the work of a few minutes to get Nienor out of the way with one of the women of the household. Aerin grabbed Morwen by the hand and tugged her into the bedroom, without a word. Morwen sank to her knees immediately. 

"I want to do for you what you did for me, last time," she said, and her voice sounded like a child betraying a confidence. "I want to lick you so much. I've been dreaming of it every night." 

"Yes," Aerin whispered. "Stay on your knees, just like that." And she moved, raising her skirts, until Morwen was half buried under them. Morwen's mouth found her even as Aerin's hands buried themselves in her hair, and Aerin directed her with sharp tugs, as Morwen groaned against her, licking firmly into her. Release spilled into her, over her, out through her, and Morwen's face, shining with Aerin's juices, looked so full of joy when it was done that Aerin could not resist kissing her, and commanding her to touch herself, there on her knees. 

\------

There was no further opportunity for another three months, during the misty summer. Aerin only managed to make it over to Morwen's house once during that time, and then they were not able to be alone. All Aerin could do was clasp Morwen to her, in what was as close to one friend hugging another as she could make it look, and whisper the date of Brodda's next hunting trip in her ear. 

That next time was a day they often recalled in memory, in the lean years to come. Aerin came over in the early morning, so eager she was flushed with it. Some of Morwen's household were already awake, and she called out to them, telling them she would awaken the Lady and there was no need for any other assistance. 

Morwen came awake as soon as Aerin crawled into bed with her, having locked the door and shed her clothes swiftly. She all but purred, snuggling in against Aerin's breasts with a sweet sound of surrender. Aerin kissed her forehead and stroked her loose hair, tangling her fingers in it, tugging gently from time to time just to hear Morwen's muffled moans against her breast. 

This was the first time they were truly naked in bed together. Morwen still breastfed Nienor from time to time; her breasts were tender and aching, and Aerin did not touch them, instead sweeping a hand down the expanse of Morwen's back, far more sensitive than she thought it would be. Morwen shivered under her, mouthing softly at her throat, kissing her there, never hard enough to leave a mark. 

Aerin pushed a thigh between Morwen's legs for her to rut against, and brought her off like that, hands in her hair, bending down over her face, whispering soft nonsense words about how good she was, how sweet, how delicious. All the many things Aerin would like to do with her and to her. 

They spent half the morning in bed, Aerin bringing Morwen to shivering peak after peak, finding her own release when Morwen asked permission to touch her, and reached a tentative hand between her thighs.

"Touch me like you would yourself," Aerin whispered. "Like you like to be touched," and Morwen's hand moved slowly in circles around her clit, speeding up from time to time and then backing off, just as Aerin was about to come. 

"Finish it now," Aerin said at last, a hint of a growl in her voice, and Morwen gave a sudden swift shudder of delight. 

"Yes, my lady," she said, her voice breathless, and brought Aerin to swift and delicious release. Aerin clung tightly to her throughout, Morwen ducked her head, listening to Aerin's harsh pants with a light in her eyes. 

They traded kisses for a while after that, slow and careful, bringing each other step by step back to reality. Aerin felt a great overwhelming tenderness running through her, and held Morwen close, reluctant to have it end. 

"Do you find what you need in this?" she asked at last, carefully. Morwen drew in a breath, and looked up at her.

"Yes," she answered. "Some part of me needs to not always be the one in control, in charge, to wear the mask I must always wear. If I did not have you, I would break one day."

Aerin smiled against her hair. "Some part of me," she said, "needs to be the one in control from time to time. I have so little say over what I may do and where I may go, and even who I may make love with, each and every day, and to hold you feels like victory." 

Morwen's eyes were shining. "Is it love then?" 

Aerin considered. "Yes," she said at last. "I think it is love, or whatever is closest to it, in these dark days." She pressed a kiss to Morwen's hair. "You are in my heart." 

\----

Somehow that was all that needed to be said. Days and years flowed by, difficult and painful every one of them. But there were shining days still, when Morwen and Aerin could meet briefly, could find solace in each other. These days grew less frequent as the years passed, and yet each was precious to them. 

Nienor was a woman nearly grown now, and Morwen feared for her, Aerin could see it in her eyes every time they met. It was not wholly unexpected, then, when Morwen drew Aerin aside, into the bedroom, but did not lock the door as always. 

"We have no time today," Morwen said with a sigh, "and yet -" she went to her knees "- I cannot do this without your blessing and permission." 

"You need no blessing or permission from me to do what you think is best for you and for Nienor," Aerin said, suspecting what was in the wind. "You mean to go to Doriath." 

"I do," Morwen said, putting her arms around Aerin's hips and resting her head against Aerin's stomach. 

"I love you," Aerin said. "And because I do, I ask - nay, I order - you to go and keep what you may of our heritage and our hope safe, in lands far away." She laid her hand on Morwen's hair, grey now, smoothed a finger down across Morwen's wrinkled brow. "Do not fear. You remain unconquered." 

"By your love that has sustained me, and the hope that I hold within my heart, that before the end I shall yet see Húrin once more," Morwen said. "Yet I wish I could bring you with me."

Aerin caught her breath, longing to go, to flee Brodda and his cruel ways forever. "There are others who I protect and guard," Aerin said. "My heart longs to go with you, but my duty bids me stay." Morwen released her, and Aerin laid her fingers beneath her chin, raising it up to look in her eyes. "Lady of Dor-lómin," she said, "do not grieve our parting, but be glad, for you go to a fairer realm, and my heart sings to think of you safe."

Morwen smiled. "No more am I the Lady of Dor-lómin," she said. "My lady, that title belongs to you now in truth." 

Aerin bent and kissed her. "When do you go?" she said at last. 

"As soon as may be," Morwen answered. "And by the swiftest road." 

"Then this is our farewell," Aerin said, and pressed burning kisses to Morwen's lips, time and again, until voices were heard outside calling for Morwen. 

"Alas, that our time was ever so short," Morwen said, standing up, and letting go of Aerin. 

"Nay, rejoice rather that we had any time at all," Aerin said, and embraced Morwen. "Farewell, my love." 

"Farewell, my lady," Morwen whispered in return, and then disentangled herself. With a longing backward glance, she left the room, and Aerin looked about, dazed, bereft. 

\----

When the hall was burning, Brodda and the others inside it, some dead, some wounded and dying, Aerin stood outside, watching it go up, and laughed. 

Still laughing, she surrendered herself to the flames. Her hand clenched in her burning skirts and she remembered her hands in Morwen's hair. 

"Morwen," she called out to one who could not hear her, "this feels like control. It feels like victory!"


End file.
